Have you ever felt like, in a matter of hours, you have been transported to another dimension and then suddenly back to your familial surroundings?

That's how I've been feeling with my mediation internship. I step into a new world where people seem almost unreal, where their problems become mine for a while, where I need to sharpen my focus and trust that God will give me insight, discernment, and wisdom as I try to fairly guide people into solving their disagreements, all in a very short time. Boy, I am glad I am not God. I certainly feel for Moses when he was hour after hour listening and solving people's disputes. He might have been exhausted! Thank God for his father-in-law and his wisdom to train and share the burden.

Truth of the matter is, I love what I am doing, and I sense that God is pleased with me by using the gifts he has bestowed on me. Often times I wonder why couldn't He just made me a good singer, or an artist, a writer... something lighter and more popular than helping people carry their burdens and wanting to do it!!! My heart goes out to this lady whose house was burglarized by a male youth, and she is now afraid to go in with her toddler for fear that someone will be there. The fear of being violated is very real and painful. But, I am able to pray (secretly) for her, and that is a powerful weapon that I feel honored to have. I am the daughter of the King, mingling in an unsaved section of the world He has died for also, as much as He died for me and my Christian brothers and sisters.

Life

Interesting couple of days. Yesterday we went back to our "unshaven dentist" and I was considering staying outside but decided I was no coward and faced him. He probably didn't even remember my indiscretion, but Josiah did and got the giggles. We manage to compose ourselves and the visit went just fine.

Today I started my mediation internship with the Santa Clara County, and it was very informative as well as busy. My very first day at the Small claims court co-mediating, more like observing, with an experienced colleague. From there we went to the offices downtown where I was given a cubicle, computer, and phone. And, juvenile offender cases to begin calling to mediate. No time wasted very hands on internship. Pretty much I'll learn as I go with the guidance of a supervisor. I am on overload until I process the information. It was a good day and it felt rewarding. Looking forward to Monday for my second session! Now, must go vegetate on the couch.

Death

I don't like death. Even as inevitable as it is, I still don't like it. It is part of life in this redeemed state we are in, but I still don't like it. I heard that we don't like death because God actually made us to live eternally, and death wasn't part of the original created state He wanted for us. Either way, we are stuck with it, and last night my dear friend's Dad, Atilio, past on unexpectedly after a minor surgery. My friend is devastated, she loves her parents dearly. Her mom was always at her husband's side for over 55 years. They had that kind of relationship that you see in the movies (almost). And last night this loving wife went to sleep on an empty bed. Oh, that sucks my kids would say. As much as I don't like that expression, that's just how I feel. Sorry if I sound down, but I am. I'll be better tomorrow. By the way, I know my friend and her parents since we were 16 years old. They were like family to me.

Ignore any mis-spellings please, my spell check is not working anymore.

Quoting quotes

Some interesting quotes I was reading from a secular Life Management source on "Facing Change":

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strenght undefeatable."
Helen Keller

"Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Be not afraid of moving slowly, be afraid of standing still."
Chinese Proverb

Any good quotes anybody wants to share?

Humility

I like this quote, I think on day 27 of the challenge we were to pray for humility. I believe it is from The Purpose Driven Life book: "Humility, is not thinking less of yourself...it is thinking of yourself less."

So true. Nothing biggie, just wanted to type it so I'll remember it.

Big Foot in my Mouth

I like to think of myself as a good listener, I don't speak a lot, and don't interrupt people when they are talking, and I try as best as possible not to offend anyone. I also speak "men" language when needed. Like today when I took my son to the dentist. Instead of giving a bunch of explanations for the problem at hand I simply said: "Jaw popping, not good." The doctor understood perfectly and immediately went to work on the problem without me having to elaborate.

As I was sitting in my chair facing both doctor and child, I looked at child and without even thinking I observed out loud "You need to shave Sir." I sometimes lovingly refer to my boys as "Sir."

The two "Sirs" raised their heads toward me and in unison said some like "Yes I know." OMGsh!!!!! Just then my eyes moved slowly to the unshaven doctor, which of course I hadn't noticed earlier. I prayed that the Earth would swallow me whole, or that my Lord would return that second.

My child was having a hard time holding his face so he wouldn't laugh, and I was utterly embarrassed and ashamed, but also beginning to get the giggles, therefore, grabbing my face as well to force it to remain serious.

It was one of those moments where nothing I could possibly say would erase what I just expressed. Would a "Oh, no, Doctor, I'm talking to my son, not you, your unshaven face looks neat" sound sincere? Truth is, I hadn't noticed him until I said what I said. Too late. So, I kept silent as he continued doing his job in my boy's mouth, and I can only wonder what his face will look like when we return in four weeks. Maybe I'll wait in the car.

My First Love Part 1

Today I decided to revisit my life when I first got saved, the newness of my first love, and reminisce and wonder what happened to my zeal.

The week after I got saved and went back to work, a co-worker who was becoming a good friend of mine, asked me what had happened to me. When I wondered what she meant she said: "This week I haven't seen you running around wild eyed with your cup of coffee and cigarette in your hand, you seem calm, almost peaceful." Wow, that is a testimony that when God is drawing someone to Him we don't even need to speak. I didn't know any Bible verse yet, but I told her that I had gone to a Church on Sunday and got saved, not quite sure of what it all meant. She invited herself over for dinner at my apartment that night to hear more about this Jesus thing. My friend was going through a very hard time in life. She was only 20 years old going through divorce, her dad had just died of cancer, and was feeling pretty low. As we were having dinner I explained to her the little I knew about my new life, which had some to do with praying this prayer to ask Jesus to live in your heart. Immediately my friend said: "I want to pray that right now." And so we did as our dinner was getting cold on our plates. That was 22 years ago.

Sometimes we try so hard to orchestrate all these fancy programs, speeches, and plans to bring the lost to Him. And many times all He wants is to let people see our changed lives, and He'll do the rest, even through someone who doesn't even know a single Bible verse. Today my friend is married to a wonderful Christian husband and has 3 children.