Nothing gives me more joy than to see the Lord answering a prayer and (Him) waiting patiently until I realize it WAS indeed an answer to my prayer.
I would say for the last few months, maybe two or three, I have been waking up at 4:00 am EVERY morning. This has happened to me in the past, and I know better than to fight it. It is the time the Lord wakes me up to pray for certain things that are going on in my mind. I have a tendency to run faster than He wants me to, and that makes me restless inside, full of anxiety and worry about the future.
So, at 4:00 am He has my full attention, and in bed, with my eyes closed, I pour out my heart to Him. If you were to see me, I look fast asleep. There were a couple of issues going on in me that were draining my joy. As I prayed for weeks and walked sleep deprived for a while, I am seeing as clear as water, His hand on the situation. Any body else would be rejoicing, and I am, but it isn't easy being me because I begin to wonder about the next step to the equation instead of rejoicing in this victory a little longer.
Those who knew me years ago would have a hard time believing that I have become so...impatient? or lacking trust? or faithless? in what He can do. I used to rest in his arms and not have a care in the world. He is teaching me to renew my rest and trust and faith in all things. I want to go back to a childlike faith, where my walk is like a new daily experience of wonder and anticipation. I want to feel His love again, not just know it in my mind.
It all happens for a reason, and this earth is what He uses to train us. Life is one trial after another with some reprieve in between. He had taken me places that had I known before I would visit, I might resisted and turned around. But He knew when and how to take me there. And it wasn't always in a gentle way, but it was the way I would listen. And I am glad we went there together. I am glad I wake up at 4:00 am. to chat with my Daddy, and I am glad He loves me enough to tell me my faults and help me overcome them.
I am seeing the fruits of my prayers before my eyes this very day, and I rejoice in that. Thank you Lord, because I matter to you so much. And forgive my unbelief, I am still a work in progress until the day you take me home.
About Me
- Silvia
- I am a Life Coach and Mediator. I teach Stress/Anxiety Management, Boundaries and Changes that Heal groups in the Santa Clara county area. I love to help women overcome all the expectations that people place on them, as well as seeing emotional healing in their lives. Women are the core of relationships, and when we are healthy in every way, we make better wives, mothers, daughters, friends and employees. My website http://www.beinginhim.net
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2 comments:
I am so tired right in this moment...I can't imagine any good reason for getting up at 4am. I just spent two hours tutoring Algebra 1 and two hours helping someone with their taxes. My mind is mush.
I'm sometimes like the Isrealites in the desert. God does something great. I acknowledge his answering prayer. I wait a bit. I ask Him if He really answers prayer. I'm like a faith yoyo when it comes to prayer. I'm working on it. Thanks for the reminder.
I often need that reminder-- "Life is one trial after another with some reprieve in between." I am always waiting for the day when life will be smooth sailing and happily ever after. Then when the trials hit, I think it's because I have not matured enough as a Christian. I know though, that God takes us through the trials so that He can work in our lives, molding us more into the image of Christ.
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