I remember when I was pregnant with my first baby, Christa, I wanted to have a drug free experience at her birth. Everett and I joined this natural birthing class, and there we went learning the hee-hee-hoo, he-ho, heeeeeeee-hoooooooooo breathings depending on where I was in the labor intensity.
How fun it was pretending in my mind to have this baby; to prepare to, no matter what, have her without the aid of drugs. I would imagine myself happily breathing as I held my husband's hand and proudly enduring the pain of childbirth in a stoic and dignified portrait of womanhood.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! The day came and as my contractions happened closer and closer, we headed to the Santa Teresa Kaiser hospital all the way from Monterey. That was the closest Kaiser at the time. My baby was in a hurry to be born and as Everett was speeding trying to get us there sooner than later, I began to realize that the pain with each contraction was becoming unbearable.
We were told that our first baby would be most likely coming to the world in a slow fashion, that we would have plenty of time to rest, eat and chat at the hospital. As the intensity of my pain got increasingly worse, I realized I had changed my mind and wanted as many drugs as possible.
After all, I was only in the beginning of my labor and it was already immeasurably painful. God wasn't kidding when He said it would be so in childbirth as part of the curse. I decided then and there that I couldn't take any stronger pain without screaming in a horror movie-like manner, and that I would politely request for pain medication as soon as I got to the hospital.
"What is taking soooo long???!!!!? I want to be there now!!!!"
"Almost there, hang on, let's do the breathing together...he-he-ho-heeee-hoooo- we are at the hospital!!"
My sweet hubby found a wheelchair for me and as the automatic doors opened I yelled as loud as I possibly could: "Drugggsssss, give me drugggsssss, anything you haveeeeeeeee, pleaseeeeeeeeee!!!!! I could almost feel Everett's big eyes behing me wondering what has gotten into "all naturelle" wifey, but this was my pain and I was done.
When the nurse was done checking me, she indicated that drugs were not an option because I was in transition and the baby was to be born right now, as they quickly wheeled me to the birthing room. Immediately my whole perception changed, my pain subsided the moment I realized this was as bad as it would get; not being at the beginning of labor as I thought I was, but at the very end. I braced myself to push and have this baby, the excitement of her soon coming blocking everything else.
The point I am trying to make is that as my perception of the situation changed so did my whole outlook. Same pain, however now bearable due to a change in my way of looking at it. Our thought process is highly dominated by our feelings and perceptions and by changing the way we think, we can change the way we feel.
By the way, after our sweet baby was born I informed Everett to enjoy her because she was the only child he was going to get (by me at least). Two boys later, I am glad I had all three drug free. What's childbirth without pain anyway?
Friday, July 31, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
The Element of Time.
As I sit at my familial kitchen table with my computer in front of me, surrounded by lots of books, bills to be paid, laundry to be folded and the list goes on, I realize I am blessed. I have been alive long enough
to know that contentment is possible largely due to the element of time.
I had a young wife explain to me all her disappointments about her marriage, of the things that were not present in their relationship; her heart was in the right place but her expectations were unrealistic because she hadn't had enough time to put her marriage to the test of time.
How would one know that a husband would give his life for his family or a wife would care for her ill husband when not enough time had passed.? The element of time is present on our day to day walk and choices. The bubbly passion of the first year continues to mature year after year, decade after decade, until one day one realizes that working with life, not against it, accepting one's lot in life regardless of it being good or bad is what brings peace and contentment to one's heart.
I have had a hard life when compared to someone raised in this beautiful country that has not experienced death at an early age or had not had strong financial difficulties. And I believe that because of my experiences I have come to accept life for what it is, content with the outcome and through the passing of time, I have learned that most of my frets never came to pass, that by worrying sick I wouldn't change the future, that when I look back I can see His hand in my life and I can trust Him. I learned to do my part in any situation and truly let go of what I could not change. Most importantly, I learned that by prayer and supplication, thanking God, I would truly receive His peace that surpasses all understanding.
to know that contentment is possible largely due to the element of time.I had a young wife explain to me all her disappointments about her marriage, of the things that were not present in their relationship; her heart was in the right place but her expectations were unrealistic because she hadn't had enough time to put her marriage to the test of time.
How would one know that a husband would give his life for his family or a wife would care for her ill husband when not enough time had passed.? The element of time is present on our day to day walk and choices. The bubbly passion of the first year continues to mature year after year, decade after decade, until one day one realizes that working with life, not against it, accepting one's lot in life regardless of it being good or bad is what brings peace and contentment to one's heart.
I have had a hard life when compared to someone raised in this beautiful country that has not experienced death at an early age or had not had strong financial difficulties. And I believe that because of my experiences I have come to accept life for what it is, content with the outcome and through the passing of time, I have learned that most of my frets never came to pass, that by worrying sick I wouldn't change the future, that when I look back I can see His hand in my life and I can trust Him. I learned to do my part in any situation and truly let go of what I could not change. Most importantly, I learned that by prayer and supplication, thanking God, I would truly receive His peace that surpasses all understanding.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Cultivating Mindfulness
As I go through my day I periodically remind myself about cultivating mindfulness. I came to love the sound of those words and what they do for me. This is what I mean when I say "Cultivating Mindfulness:"
It is being in the present, moment by moment without trying to change it. Having a compassionate attitude toward oneself and others is part of mindfulness. Mindfulness can change the way one deals with fear and pain. As our practice gets better, we can learn to relax and stay present even when fear and pain move through the moment. It reminds me of "Be still and know that I am God." Through practice I am able to appreciate what I am doing now, allowing me to be physically and emotionally present with others and my surroundings. As I continue to be more aware, the natural consequence brings me to gratitude.
Having a grateful, thankful heart is one of the best antidotes for anxiety, fear, regret, envy, jealousy and the list goes on. One can't be thankful and envious at the same time. The same is true for anxiety and relaxation, is either one or the other. Thankfulness brings us closer to contentment. Our countenance reflects which one rules over us and sets the tone of our homes, our spouses and our children.
Journaling about the blessings in our lives, being aware of the things that bring gratitude and thankfulness to our heart will bring peace to our mind. "Be still and know that I am God." "Give thanks with a grateful heart, give thanks unto the Holy one, give thanks because He gave us Jesus Christ, His son."
Next time I have a pity party or I am envious about something I will remind myself to read my own post.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Rats and Anxiety.
I feel good when I tackle something and get it done. There is a sense of accomplishment when I learn something new and apply it. It gives me a feeling of control; like I am conquering and stretching my horizons.
Rats feel the same way. A study that was done a while ago, had anxiety induced rats housed separately. To make them anxious, they were given a small electric shock at different times, randomly. The poor rats were anxious most of the time because they never knew when and where this pain was coming from.
A few days later, a lever was added to one of the cages, and, in time, accidentally at first, whenever the rat pushed the lever, the shock would stop immediately. As the rodents began to internalize this knowledge, as soon as the first indication of a shock would start, they push the lever and the shock would stop on the spot. Their anxiety diminished tremendously, and happy rats were playing again.
Lastly, they placed the rats in another cage with a lever they could push at will, but it did nothing to stop the electric shock. The shock would stop on its own regardless of the action of pushing the lever or not. The result: the rats were happy and anxiety free.
This is just to say that when we (and rats) feel that we have a certain amount of control over a situation, even thought it is not doing anything to fix it, we feel less stressed. That small amount of control and power helps us reduce some of the cortisol production. Helplessness and hopelessness are one of the big stress producers. We as Christians have a double lever to our disposal, our intellect to apply truth to the stressful situation at hand, and a God that is bigger than any hopelessness we may have.
Rats feel the same way. A study that was done a while ago, had anxiety induced rats housed separately. To make them anxious, they were given a small electric shock at different times, randomly. The poor rats were anxious most of the time because they never knew when and where this pain was coming from.
A few days later, a lever was added to one of the cages, and, in time, accidentally at first, whenever the rat pushed the lever, the shock would stop immediately. As the rodents began to internalize this knowledge, as soon as the first indication of a shock would start, they push the lever and the shock would stop on the spot. Their anxiety diminished tremendously, and happy rats were playing again.
Lastly, they placed the rats in another cage with a lever they could push at will, but it did nothing to stop the electric shock. The shock would stop on its own regardless of the action of pushing the lever or not. The result: the rats were happy and anxiety free.
This is just to say that when we (and rats) feel that we have a certain amount of control over a situation, even thought it is not doing anything to fix it, we feel less stressed. That small amount of control and power helps us reduce some of the cortisol production. Helplessness and hopelessness are one of the big stress producers. We as Christians have a double lever to our disposal, our intellect to apply truth to the stressful situation at hand, and a God that is bigger than any hopelessness we may have.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Meditation Part II (Read Part I first)
There are 2 types of meditation:
Concentrative and non-concentrative. The concentrative brings attention to a mantra or word repetition. I don’t use this kind. The non-concentrative brings attention to the relaxation experience, where whatever thoughts, feelings, desires, physical sensations arise, you don’t judge them, or resist them in any way. It helps you uncloud your perception of yourself and your life.
Meditation training includes:
1. Right Attitude
2. Cultivating Mindfulness
3. Commitment and Self Discipline
1. Right Attitude
• Beginner’s Mind: It is perceiving something with the freshness you would bring to it if you were seeing it for the very first time. It is seeing and accepting things as they actually are in the present moment. It's being child-like.
• Non-Striving: Pretty much everything we do during the day is goal oriented. Meditation is one thing that is not. Meditation takes effort to practice, and its aim is to “just be.” You are not trying to relax or relieve stress. If you are stressed or anxious you don’t strive to get rid of these sensations, instead you simply observe them and be with them as best as you can, not resisting them.
• Acceptance: Acceptance is the opposite of striving. As you learn to simply be with whatever you experience in the moment, you cultivate acceptance. In meditation practice, acceptance develops as you learn to embrace each moment as it comes, without fighting it. In life, acceptance does not mean that you resign yourself to the way things are and cease trying to change and grow. Acceptance can clear a space in your life to reflect and act appropriately. You free up energy to ACT when you are no longer REACTING to or struggling with the difficulty. Sometimes it is necessary to go through different emotional reactions around a problem before you can get to acceptance..
• Letting Go: You probably heard that to catch monkeys a hole is drilled in a coconut just big enough for the monkey to put his hand in. The coconut is tied to a tree by a wire. Then a banana is placed inside the coconut. The monkey comes, puts his hand in the coconut and grubs the banana. The hole is small enough so the monkey can out his hand in but cannot pull his closed fist out. All the monkey needs to do to be free is to let go of the banana, yet most monkeys won’t let go. Our minds are often like the monkey. We grab on to a particular thought or emotional state and we won’t let go. Cultivating the ability to let go is crucial to meditation practice, not to mention a less anxious life. Letting go is a natural consequence of a willingness to accept things as they are.
2. Cultivating Mindfulness:
Mindfulness is being in the present, moment to moment awareness. It is paying attention without judgment to whatever comes up in the present moment of your experience, without trying to change it. Having a compassionate attitude toward yourself is a part of mindfulness. Mindfulness can change the way you deal with fear and pain. As your practice gets better, you can learn to relax and stay present even when fear and pain move through the present moment.
3. Commitment and Self-Discipline: A strong commitment to work on yourself, along with the discipline to persevere and follow through with the process, is essential to meditation. Learning to make time “just for being” and not doing is a challenge sometimes. It is a similar commitment to exercise. A long term commitment to regular meditation will transform your life. It will change the way you relate to everything you experience in life on a deep level. I have been practicing relaxation and meditation regularly for many years now, and I can see the benefits in my own life.
Common Concerns that May Come Up. As you get ready to meditate you may have some questions and concerns. These are some of the most common.
• I don’t have time to meditate. Usually when you say you don’t have time for something, it means it hasn’t become a high priority for you to give it time. As you practice it and you feel less stressed, it would become a habit.
• When I sit to meditate it makes me more anxious. The question is, does it make you more anxious or is it possible that by stopping and sitting still, you become more aware of the anxiety that was already there? By accepting your anxiety and telling yourself: it’s just anxiety and I am going to calm myself by relaxing, the easier it will become to diffuse it. If you feel too anxious and agitated to sit down quietly, you may need to do some form of aerobic exercise first to release all that energy, and then go on with the meditation.
If you want to meditate to Christian music and Scripture check my website http://beinginhim.net/
Read Psalms 144- 150. It will lift your spirit!
Concentrative and non-concentrative. The concentrative brings attention to a mantra or word repetition. I don’t use this kind. The non-concentrative brings attention to the relaxation experience, where whatever thoughts, feelings, desires, physical sensations arise, you don’t judge them, or resist them in any way. It helps you uncloud your perception of yourself and your life.
Meditation training includes:
1. Right Attitude
2. Cultivating Mindfulness
3. Commitment and Self Discipline
1. Right Attitude
• Beginner’s Mind: It is perceiving something with the freshness you would bring to it if you were seeing it for the very first time. It is seeing and accepting things as they actually are in the present moment. It's being child-like.
• Non-Striving: Pretty much everything we do during the day is goal oriented. Meditation is one thing that is not. Meditation takes effort to practice, and its aim is to “just be.” You are not trying to relax or relieve stress. If you are stressed or anxious you don’t strive to get rid of these sensations, instead you simply observe them and be with them as best as you can, not resisting them.
• Acceptance: Acceptance is the opposite of striving. As you learn to simply be with whatever you experience in the moment, you cultivate acceptance. In meditation practice, acceptance develops as you learn to embrace each moment as it comes, without fighting it. In life, acceptance does not mean that you resign yourself to the way things are and cease trying to change and grow. Acceptance can clear a space in your life to reflect and act appropriately. You free up energy to ACT when you are no longer REACTING to or struggling with the difficulty. Sometimes it is necessary to go through different emotional reactions around a problem before you can get to acceptance..
• Letting Go: You probably heard that to catch monkeys a hole is drilled in a coconut just big enough for the monkey to put his hand in. The coconut is tied to a tree by a wire. Then a banana is placed inside the coconut. The monkey comes, puts his hand in the coconut and grubs the banana. The hole is small enough so the monkey can out his hand in but cannot pull his closed fist out. All the monkey needs to do to be free is to let go of the banana, yet most monkeys won’t let go. Our minds are often like the monkey. We grab on to a particular thought or emotional state and we won’t let go. Cultivating the ability to let go is crucial to meditation practice, not to mention a less anxious life. Letting go is a natural consequence of a willingness to accept things as they are.
2. Cultivating Mindfulness:
Mindfulness is being in the present, moment to moment awareness. It is paying attention without judgment to whatever comes up in the present moment of your experience, without trying to change it. Having a compassionate attitude toward yourself is a part of mindfulness. Mindfulness can change the way you deal with fear and pain. As your practice gets better, you can learn to relax and stay present even when fear and pain move through the present moment.
3. Commitment and Self-Discipline: A strong commitment to work on yourself, along with the discipline to persevere and follow through with the process, is essential to meditation. Learning to make time “just for being” and not doing is a challenge sometimes. It is a similar commitment to exercise. A long term commitment to regular meditation will transform your life. It will change the way you relate to everything you experience in life on a deep level. I have been practicing relaxation and meditation regularly for many years now, and I can see the benefits in my own life.
Common Concerns that May Come Up. As you get ready to meditate you may have some questions and concerns. These are some of the most common.
• I don’t have time to meditate. Usually when you say you don’t have time for something, it means it hasn’t become a high priority for you to give it time. As you practice it and you feel less stressed, it would become a habit.
• When I sit to meditate it makes me more anxious. The question is, does it make you more anxious or is it possible that by stopping and sitting still, you become more aware of the anxiety that was already there? By accepting your anxiety and telling yourself: it’s just anxiety and I am going to calm myself by relaxing, the easier it will become to diffuse it. If you feel too anxious and agitated to sit down quietly, you may need to do some form of aerobic exercise first to release all that energy, and then go on with the meditation.
If you want to meditate to Christian music and Scripture check my website http://beinginhim.net/
Read Psalms 144- 150. It will lift your spirit!
Meditation Part I
Meditation involves a process of focusing our attention on only one thing at a time and letting all other thoughts go. Simply put, meditation is “focused thinking.” If you know how to worry, you already learned how to meditate, although your focus is in the wrong thing.
If a thought comes to a meditating person’s mind, she should not resist that thought or judge it, rather she should notice it and let it go.
This is easier said than done because we are not used to it, it goes against our training to "doing" instead of "being". Most people in the industrialized Western cultures have come to enjoy being busy, filling time with activities, people and noise. Many do not understand the art of quiet, solitary meditation.
It is hard to find moments of quiet reflection left that are not filled with:
~Listening to the Ipod, ~Cell phone conversations/texting, ~Checking email or the blackberry, ~Doing a google search, General business, Face book. I am as guilty as the next person on this matter. Whatever happened to appreciating the moment, introspection, free play, doing nothing.
*From ancient times God has instructed His people to meditate on His Word:
“Do not let this book of the law depart from your mouth, meditate on it day and night so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” Joshua 1:8
I continually stress the importance of body, mind and spirit connection, how one affects the other and as all three components work together well they make us whole.
*Harvard medical school tested the benefits of meditation:
~ A decrease in heart rate, blood pressure, and oxygen consumption
~ An increase in electrical resistance of the skin and alpha brain wave activity (both associated with relaxation)
*Meditation has repeatedly been found to reduce chronic anxiety and worry. Some long-range benefits may include:
~ Sharpened alertness
~ Increased energy level and productivity
~ Decreased self-criticism
~ Increased objectivity
~ Decreased dependence on alcohol, recreational, and prescription drugs
~ Improved self-esteem and sense of identity
~ Meditation helps to uncloud your perception of yourself and your life.
With all these good stuff happening, why do some of us resist relaxing and meditating, or don’t even like it? Besides what I mentioned before about busyness and noise, there are internal resistances to it.
*Meditation in Scripture not only helps us calm the mind and relax the body, but it also helps us to control our thoughts:
“For the Word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12)
*The Word of God has the power to reveal our wrong thinking patterns and help us to change them so we can be filled with peace and calm:
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)
The unnecessary stressors this culture presses upon us can be overcome as we choose to meditate on God’s Word. Jesus said “The words I speak to you are spirit, and they are life” John 6:63. It is good practice to focus on God’s words and allow them to sink deeply into our hearts.
In our childhood we discovered the art of daydreaming. We used our imaginations perhaps to escape the circumstances we were in or to dream of what we would like to be or do. Unfortunately, as our minds take on more distortional thinking, hurt, pain, and worldly ideas, our imaginations become more corrupt and negative. People imagine catastrophes that will come to them, and many kinds of unclean thoughts.
From the beginning of mankind, after sin entered the world, our imaginations have been bent to evil:
“The Lord saw how great man’s wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time.” Genesis: 6:5
* As Christians who have the Holy Spirit dwelling in us, we can fight this negative inclination to evil. Paul said:
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think (meditate) about such things.” Philippians 4: 8
Choosing to think about what is noble, just, pure, and lovely things will cleanse our mind of many stressful factors.
In my next post I will explain the types of meditation and what they include.
If a thought comes to a meditating person’s mind, she should not resist that thought or judge it, rather she should notice it and let it go.
This is easier said than done because we are not used to it, it goes against our training to "doing" instead of "being". Most people in the industrialized Western cultures have come to enjoy being busy, filling time with activities, people and noise. Many do not understand the art of quiet, solitary meditation.
It is hard to find moments of quiet reflection left that are not filled with:
~Listening to the Ipod, ~Cell phone conversations/texting, ~Checking email or the blackberry, ~Doing a google search, General business, Face book. I am as guilty as the next person on this matter. Whatever happened to appreciating the moment, introspection, free play, doing nothing.
*From ancient times God has instructed His people to meditate on His Word:
“Do not let this book of the law depart from your mouth, meditate on it day and night so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” Joshua 1:8
I continually stress the importance of body, mind and spirit connection, how one affects the other and as all three components work together well they make us whole.
*Harvard medical school tested the benefits of meditation:
~ A decrease in heart rate, blood pressure, and oxygen consumption
~ An increase in electrical resistance of the skin and alpha brain wave activity (both associated with relaxation)
*Meditation has repeatedly been found to reduce chronic anxiety and worry. Some long-range benefits may include:
~ Sharpened alertness
~ Increased energy level and productivity
~ Decreased self-criticism
~ Increased objectivity
~ Decreased dependence on alcohol, recreational, and prescription drugs
~ Improved self-esteem and sense of identity
~ Meditation helps to uncloud your perception of yourself and your life.
With all these good stuff happening, why do some of us resist relaxing and meditating, or don’t even like it? Besides what I mentioned before about busyness and noise, there are internal resistances to it.
*Meditation in Scripture not only helps us calm the mind and relax the body, but it also helps us to control our thoughts:
“For the Word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12)
*The Word of God has the power to reveal our wrong thinking patterns and help us to change them so we can be filled with peace and calm:
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)
The unnecessary stressors this culture presses upon us can be overcome as we choose to meditate on God’s Word. Jesus said “The words I speak to you are spirit, and they are life” John 6:63. It is good practice to focus on God’s words and allow them to sink deeply into our hearts.
In our childhood we discovered the art of daydreaming. We used our imaginations perhaps to escape the circumstances we were in or to dream of what we would like to be or do. Unfortunately, as our minds take on more distortional thinking, hurt, pain, and worldly ideas, our imaginations become more corrupt and negative. People imagine catastrophes that will come to them, and many kinds of unclean thoughts.
From the beginning of mankind, after sin entered the world, our imaginations have been bent to evil:
“The Lord saw how great man’s wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time.” Genesis: 6:5
* As Christians who have the Holy Spirit dwelling in us, we can fight this negative inclination to evil. Paul said:
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think (meditate) about such things.” Philippians 4: 8
Choosing to think about what is noble, just, pure, and lovely things will cleanse our mind of many stressful factors.
In my next post I will explain the types of meditation and what they include.
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