To Think or Not to Think...

When I think good, healthy thoughts, my brain creates new neuro-path ways instead of trailing the old well known road to negativity. Science tells me that, I teach it, I use it in my own life. This is true for all of us. However, it isn't that simple. It requires a complete, radical transformation of who I am at my core. It challenges my beliefs from birth and requires lots of work. And like anything worth pursuing, the payoffs are great. 

I wish I could have a "delete" button and -voila'- I start fresh. Decades of negative thoughts, stress and anxiety, depression, self-doubt, self-criticism, perfectionism, victim/ worrier thinking, and more makes these thoughts familiar and comfortable. I don't fight the habit because it is what I know. One lady said: "I don't want to get out of Hell, I know the names of all the streets."

God even gives us Scriptures to dwell on that will help change the neuro- paths to where they need to be:

Philippians 4:6-8 (New King James Version)
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Then why is it so hard to do? Why do I dwell on the bad thoughts instead of renewing my mind?

Partly because it is a default setting, I go there automatically; my sin nature takes me there with ease. To transform and renew my mind I need to make a conscious effort that requires diligence, will and work. It could be compared to working my muscles when I exercise. It takes work, for the most part it is not enjoyable, but once I begin noticing the rewards of my hard work, I find motivation and a desire to continue.

The good news is that I begin to create these new neuro- paths that help me bring my thoughts into captivity much faster that before. Dwelling on "What ifs" that most likely will never happen is not God's plan for my life. Trusting God means giving up trying to control everything, yet being good stewards of what is within my responsibility to manage. There's a big difference.

As I sit here contemplating life, I begin to recount Jesus' life. He had many reasons to feel sorry for Himself, but I doubt very much He did. I am sure He didn't go through life thinking how unfair His lot was. I wonder if He ever felt self-conscious when teaching, say, the sermon on the Mountain or the Parables. Did He ever worry Himself sick with feelings of inadequacy, or self-doubt, or drive Himself crazy with perfectionism or self-criticism? Did He ever feel like telling somebody off? How about road rage pushing other donkeys out of His way? He didn't even own a donkey, He walked everywhere he went and I am sure His cholesterol was fine; after all He got plenty of exercise and ate lots of fish. He spent time with the Father in regular basis, plus He loved people and had compassion for them. Even those who hated Him, falsely accused Him, even those who crucified and killed Him.

I am told to be more like Jesus as I walk the walk. What does that mean? I wonder what life would be if I got up in the morning and made a list of things I were to accomplish that had nothing to do with my own gain. What if my to do list was: 1. Go to Kaiser and visit three terminally ill patients, 2. Bring a meal to a sick friend, 3. Go Christmas shopping for homeless children, 4. Love your family regardless, 4. Expect nothing, 5. Love some more. Could I ever do this and not think about me, me, me, and my needs, and my wants, and my fitness, and my need for vacation, and the list goes on.

If -and that's the operative word- I was able to do that, would I be happier? Could it be that I am extremely self-preoccupied, self-absorbed, self-ish? It is a well known fact that in third world countries people have almost nothing yet they are happier. Need produces a bonding experience that removes "the have to have this to be happy" deception. I many times wonder if it would even be possible to ever experience His life to the fullest. Is suffering what helps me to become closer to my King?

As I write this blog, I am surrounded by sad situation after sad situation that is happening to Christians around me. Is it becoming an epidemic? Where does one go to not catch it? There is nowhere but back to Him. Is that what it will take to bring us back to Him?

I sound like Solomon in Ecclesiastes! I guess I am mourning with those who are mourning today.

As Jesus was a "man of many sorrows," so are we. Yet He promised "not to leave us nor forsake us." As I go through the valley of death He is walking along side with me. As I, in the physical realm, believe and internalize His many promises, and dwell on them, I begin to create new hopeful neuro- pathways in my brain that will help to bring together my body, mind and Spirit to be of one accord.