Facebook
It is so fun to observe people on Facebook. My husband thinks people should not publish their dirty laundry on FB. That is not the place. I agree. But, it is so fun to observe and realize so much about people just by their statuses.
On the one hand you have the practical ones. “Grocery shopping today, kid’s hair cut, games, vacations, etc.” Does anybody really care that much what others are going to do today? Probably not. I think it is more for the one writing the status to gather their thoughts and feel accompanied.
Then there are the Bible scholars. Scriptures fill most of their statuses and many (not all) feel justified for using such a mundane tool like FB because after all they are preaching the Gospel, thus not wasting time.
Others, again just my observation, are crying for attention. “Me, me, look at me!!!” They feel disconnected, left out, alone, and hope that FB will be their ticket to happiness.
Then there are the encouragers. Always a positive note, you can read a smile behind every statement they make, and they help people feel better just about anything others are going through. They are the ones that usually get more comments along with the jokers- if you are funny you’ll get a crowd.
There are the needies; They have so many needs that take many daily statuses to display the horrors of life. Victims of fate try to get the attention of the rescuers and they connect in their own way. It is almost therapeutic how that works along with the ‘insecures’ who cry out for someone to convey that they are OK, no matter what, you are loved. They seek reassurance and fish for belonging.
Then you have the thinkers. They philosophize and try to fix mankind issues in one liner. They quote clever proverbs, biblical or not, they show their wisdom through their status. Nothing ever becomes too personal, thus avoiding the whole emotional realm; too scary to display.
Ah! The complainers! FB is their place to show their dissatisfaction in many venues: political, life, TV shows, relational. The world should run a certain way only and they display the how. They could be the next candidate for president.
I believe an observer can do a whole psychological analysis on people by just reading statutes. The question is: How much of it is true? We all act differently when we know we are being observed, or in this case, read. Because we are not face to face it may be easier to be a bit more transparent or cry out for help. People complain about FB but they faithfully stay. Is FB adding some small element of companionship when life gets so busy that we just don’t see each other face to face that much?
I admit I do feel some connection when I hear about births, deaths, pro-life bills that passed, etc. through face book. It is almost like my news channel about people that I know. Some I know better than others; a few in my friends list I have no clue who they are. But FB friends we are. I think face book is good for introverts and extroverts as well for different reasons. I am by nature an introvert. I like people, just not too many at any one time. I do better one on one or small groups. I do fine with large groups as long as I am teaching something. So FB helps me to keep in touch at a comfortable pace.
For an extrovert, those with 300+ friends list, it is pure joy to hear, see, talk, and connect with as many people as possible in the virtual and the real world, for that moment. They forget you the minute you are not in their presence or in their page, but they come back as soon as they see you again.
There are the lurkers and the upfront facebookers. The lurkers navigate to statuses and ppl’s pages in the dark; never acknowledging their presence. So you know, there is an app now that one can find out who visits your page, so watch out! The up-fronters leave comments to everyone they visit as if they were sharing a virtual cup of tea.
Lastly, there is the dilemma of “Why hasn’t she/he accepted me as their friend? It’s been a week since I sent the request”. This opens a can of worms with emotions raging from neediness and rejection, all the way to anger, bargaining to finally acceptance. Then, it is the issue of “Why have they blocked me or removed me as their friend? What have I done to them? Have I said anything offensive? Oh, who needs them after all?”
After analyzing my take on FB with all its pros and cons I have decided that I like it as long as I keep it to my level of comfort and don’t make too much of it. I have found the best part of FB for me is to have been able to reunite with so many long lost old friends and family that it makes the rest worth it and fun. What is the best or worst part of FB for you? Well, I got to go now and check on you!
Helen Bratko and Kelly Near-Allen like this..
Silvia Lakoduk FYI, I have a bit of many of these traits.
December 11 at 1:25pm ·Sara Olson Did you write this? Interesting!
December 11 at 1:45pm ·Helen Bratko Cute article Silvia. I like hearing mundane things, except the ones that say "going to bed" or something equally uninteresting, ok who cares?
I don't take things personally on FB, but I can sometimes get envious of people going on exotic va...cations.
I LOVE FB and spend probably an hour a day on it. I love being in touch with friends and reading blogs.See More
December 11 at 1:55pm Sara Olson Yes, I love being able to stay in touch with all my friends all over the place. FB just makes me feel like we know what one another is doing even though we're all so far apart.
December 11 at 2:01pm .Silvia Lakoduk Thanks Helen, I agree. Sara, I wrote it and that is my favorite part of FB. I recently found someone I haven't heard from for about 35 years.
December 11 at 3:05pm ·Helen Tsang Mundane things are fine with me, too. It's a way to stay in touch with your friends, letting them know the little bitty things in your life. I think your article pretty much sums up all the FB personalities.
December 12 at 1:34am .Silvia Lakoduk Helen, about ... 2, 3 years ago I wouldn't had seen a picture of your cake and cookies all the way from HK if we didn't have FB and blogs :) I am so glad I can follow parts of your life from the other side of the world. My kids think it's so funny I had to have a coin and find a public phone growing up.
December 12 at 9:20am .Silvia Lakoduk Another thing I should add about FB is the opportunity to pray for other's needs.
December 12 at 9:22am .Helen Tsang I agree. FB has made moving thousands of miles away bearable. It really is an amazing concept.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
New Life
New life brings lots of happiness, expectations, responsibilities, as well as concerns and feelings of inadequacy.
When Josiah was born seventeen years ago, I was tired. I already had a 31/2 year old daughter and a two year old boy. Josiah completed our family and proved himself capable of keeping up with our fast family pace. He seemed to always be striving to keep up, even when it would have been alright to be slower due to his less time on this earth; but Josiah had this uncanny thrive to speed up with his siblings.
He still does. Maybe because of being the third child, we felt more confident letting him try things sooner. Or maybe because he proved himself trustworthy and able. I love Josiah's heart. He is solid, empathic, kind, loving, caring, and the list goes on. He is my baby and forever will be.
We picked his name from King Josiah in the Old Testament; he acts like a King sometimes, but Josiah was an upright King before the Lord and we prayed that our Josiah would be upright before his Lord.
We moved to Idaho when Josiah was 2 months old, so he didn't remeber California-although he is a native born at Kaiser Santa Teresa - and he used to think he was from Idaho. Even though he was born in San
Jose, we lived in Marina, Monterey at the time. Long story. Josiah was 5 years old when we came back and settled in San Jose. He used to complain about not having snow in the winters, and not being able to go sledding a block away from our house.
Josiah adapts beautifully to changes and doesn't complain. He is as loyal as they come and he is a very good judge of character. He senses the "feel" of a room and adapts accordingly.
I pray God's best for Josiah. I pray his choices will match his Heavenly Father's choices. I pray for physical, emotional and spiritual health to Josiah forever.
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I love you Josiah.
Mom
When Josiah was born seventeen years ago, I was tired. I already had a 31/2 year old daughter and a two year old boy. Josiah completed our family and proved himself capable of keeping up with our fast family pace. He seemed to always be striving to keep up, even when it would have been alright to be slower due to his less time on this earth; but Josiah had this uncanny thrive to speed up with his siblings.
He still does. Maybe because of being the third child, we felt more confident letting him try things sooner. Or maybe because he proved himself trustworthy and able. I love Josiah's heart. He is solid, empathic, kind, loving, caring, and the list goes on. He is my baby and forever will be.
We picked his name from King Josiah in the Old Testament; he acts like a King sometimes, but Josiah was an upright King before the Lord and we prayed that our Josiah would be upright before his Lord.
We moved to Idaho when Josiah was 2 months old, so he didn't remeber California-although he is a native born at Kaiser Santa Teresa - and he used to think he was from Idaho. Even though he was born in San
Jose, we lived in Marina, Monterey at the time. Long story. Josiah was 5 years old when we came back and settled in San Jose. He used to complain about not having snow in the winters, and not being able to go sledding a block away from our house.
Josiah adapts beautifully to changes and doesn't complain. He is as loyal as they come and he is a very good judge of character. He senses the "feel" of a room and adapts accordingly.
I pray God's best for Josiah. I pray his choices will match his Heavenly Father's choices. I pray for physical, emotional and spiritual health to Josiah forever.
.jpg)
Mom
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
3-16
Today is March 16, 2010.
In order to make sense out of what I am going to write, I need to explain a couple of things about myself. I am a Christian, what I would call a "practical" Christian. I have given my whole self to the Lord and have gone strong since 1985. However, I have a hard time with some Christians that are religious. Not to be confused with spiritual. I am not much into every other word having to say "If God leads, or lets me, or wills, or allows me." I feel that sometimes we show unnecessary fear. I see it like this: If my son asks me to take a class on Mondays and I say yes, it is settled. But when Monday comes around and he asks again and begs and pleads and does this EVERY MONDAY I would wonder what is wrong with him, wasting all this time and energy for something that it was already understood. Worse yet, if he couldn't get me on the phone and missed the class because he didn't hear my voice (again) approving his going there, then I would be upset with him and even think:"What is wrong, you had my permission!" I wonder if God sometimes thinks that about us-in a much nicer way than me-: "Didn't I tell you it is OK to go to the grocery store without having to ask Me (again)?"
That is how I view many instances when God has already set situations in motion since the beginning of time: "Be fruitful and multiply." He wasn't specific. If we want one child or ten I guess He would leave it up to us. "Go and subdue the earth and its living things". To me that means if you want to move, or change jobs, or read a certain book, or anything at all, we have the freedom, if you don't want to, you don't have to. God would approve it either way and would present us to the new life challenges whatever we do, wherever we go. I believe that's why He gifted us in certain areas. We can put all those ingredients together and make our own decision whithin His moral compass and pre-set boundaries, feeling free to exercise our God given mind, desires and emotions. It is safe to say that I don't see the devil under every rock and God on every move I make. I have the "Promised Land" but I will get there by going through the desert. Our daily battles are ours to fight, and yes, He is with us as we go.
Having said all these, I woke up this morning and a Facebook friend had in his status John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." I always liked this verse, it summarizes God so nicely. A few minutes later, in preparation to going to the bank to make a deposit, I wrote today's date, 3-16. Interesting. After I added up the deposit amount and less cash, the total was...$316.
If anything at all, these "coincidences" made me pause and contemplate this verse for a few minutes. There is so much power in those words, thank you Lord for giving us a way out of perishing to new life. I took this as a little gift to me, that as I travel my "practical" journey I can't forget He is supernatural and will remind me of it every so often. Thank you for that, my Lord.
In order to make sense out of what I am going to write, I need to explain a couple of things about myself. I am a Christian, what I would call a "practical" Christian. I have given my whole self to the Lord and have gone strong since 1985. However, I have a hard time with some Christians that are religious. Not to be confused with spiritual. I am not much into every other word having to say "If God leads, or lets me, or wills, or allows me." I feel that sometimes we show unnecessary fear. I see it like this: If my son asks me to take a class on Mondays and I say yes, it is settled. But when Monday comes around and he asks again and begs and pleads and does this EVERY MONDAY I would wonder what is wrong with him, wasting all this time and energy for something that it was already understood. Worse yet, if he couldn't get me on the phone and missed the class because he didn't hear my voice (again) approving his going there, then I would be upset with him and even think:"What is wrong, you had my permission!" I wonder if God sometimes thinks that about us-in a much nicer way than me-: "Didn't I tell you it is OK to go to the grocery store without having to ask Me (again)?"
That is how I view many instances when God has already set situations in motion since the beginning of time: "Be fruitful and multiply." He wasn't specific. If we want one child or ten I guess He would leave it up to us. "Go and subdue the earth and its living things". To me that means if you want to move, or change jobs, or read a certain book, or anything at all, we have the freedom, if you don't want to, you don't have to. God would approve it either way and would present us to the new life challenges whatever we do, wherever we go. I believe that's why He gifted us in certain areas. We can put all those ingredients together and make our own decision whithin His moral compass and pre-set boundaries, feeling free to exercise our God given mind, desires and emotions. It is safe to say that I don't see the devil under every rock and God on every move I make. I have the "Promised Land" but I will get there by going through the desert. Our daily battles are ours to fight, and yes, He is with us as we go.
Having said all these, I woke up this morning and a Facebook friend had in his status John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." I always liked this verse, it summarizes God so nicely. A few minutes later, in preparation to going to the bank to make a deposit, I wrote today's date, 3-16. Interesting. After I added up the deposit amount and less cash, the total was...$316.
If anything at all, these "coincidences" made me pause and contemplate this verse for a few minutes. There is so much power in those words, thank you Lord for giving us a way out of perishing to new life. I took this as a little gift to me, that as I travel my "practical" journey I can't forget He is supernatural and will remind me of it every so often. Thank you for that, my Lord.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Another Thought
It is usually my familial kitchen table that inspires my writings. My thoughts, however, come and go all day long. I love to see people's eyes light up when they discover that they have choices about their thoughts. I find it reassuring that the mind is not a helpless mass of directionless neurons, unable to respond to commands. But controling our thoughts does not happen by accident.
Just as we train our muscles to go from flab to tight, or we train our spirit to go from darkness to light, we can train our mind to go from dread and despair to truth and reality. I said "truth and reality" because most of our dreadful thoughts are not based on truth, but fear. Overcoming fears is a great place to start receiving truth - truth about a situation or thought. Isolation makes our fears grow like mold on humid surfaces. Close relationships help us center when our minds decide to run wild. But the real work is to train ourselves to learn "to take every tought captive." This could be a constant minute by minute choice for some people. Some of us will do this by intaking truth through God's word daily. Others will first need repairing of the mind from past experiences before being able to accept truth. We are all in different places, but we are all the same: we all fall short of God's glory and are in need of a Savior.
Fear, despair, doubt, insecurity, self-destruction - all need to be taken captive and replaced with peace, rest, trust, confidence, and self-protection. God has secured a place for us, He has given us good instructions for dealing with our own battles. We are instructed to take up our cross daily.
The problem may come when I get tired and unwilling to take up my daily cross and instead, begin to question and doubt. I start to think too much, just like Eve when she was deceived after having had clear instructions directly from God as to what not to do. If she, so close to God, was deceived, what hope do I have? "Our Body Will Follow Our Thoughts," "We Are What We Think," "Self-Talk Is The Most Important Conversation We Have All Day," are just a few reminders that we are responsible to actively work on our thought process. Awareness, distraction, Scripture, deep breathing, relaxation, music, prayer, friends, are just a few examples to achieve this capture. So I declare today I will think about ..."whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-I will think about such things."
Just as we train our muscles to go from flab to tight, or we train our spirit to go from darkness to light, we can train our mind to go from dread and despair to truth and reality. I said "truth and reality" because most of our dreadful thoughts are not based on truth, but fear. Overcoming fears is a great place to start receiving truth - truth about a situation or thought. Isolation makes our fears grow like mold on humid surfaces. Close relationships help us center when our minds decide to run wild. But the real work is to train ourselves to learn "to take every tought captive." This could be a constant minute by minute choice for some people. Some of us will do this by intaking truth through God's word daily. Others will first need repairing of the mind from past experiences before being able to accept truth. We are all in different places, but we are all the same: we all fall short of God's glory and are in need of a Savior.
Fear, despair, doubt, insecurity, self-destruction - all need to be taken captive and replaced with peace, rest, trust, confidence, and self-protection. God has secured a place for us, He has given us good instructions for dealing with our own battles. We are instructed to take up our cross daily.
The problem may come when I get tired and unwilling to take up my daily cross and instead, begin to question and doubt. I start to think too much, just like Eve when she was deceived after having had clear instructions directly from God as to what not to do. If she, so close to God, was deceived, what hope do I have? "Our Body Will Follow Our Thoughts," "We Are What We Think," "Self-Talk Is The Most Important Conversation We Have All Day," are just a few reminders that we are responsible to actively work on our thought process. Awareness, distraction, Scripture, deep breathing, relaxation, music, prayer, friends, are just a few examples to achieve this capture. So I declare today I will think about ..."whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-I will think about such things."
Monday, January 25, 2010
More Thoughts.
It has been a long time since my last post, and might as well been years that went by. Life changed since the holidays and I am going along practicing all the tools I have in my tool box. Although I don't like this road I am traveling I realize I could not have done it in the past. I feel equipped and grounded, loved and prepared. Since God's will is pretty much a mystery, I follow along hoping for the best, yet preparing for the worse.
I had a client one day tell me that she thought God's plans were like a sick joke; because He was in control, nobody knew the outcome. I was saddened and surprised at first by her belief. Then, I had to give it some thought. That's when I realized that faith is the glue that brings it all together. We either have it or not. Even with lots and lots of faith God will be God and will do what He had already planned. Even without faith He will do the same. So, does it matter what we do with it? Can we change God's plan and mind? I used to tell my kids: "Imagine a girl praying to marry this guy, and then two more girls praying to marry the same guy. Obviously God can't say yes to all three of them. Maybe one will get the guy, or none of them. Let's pretend one of the girls gets the guy. She will be praising the Lord and think great things about Him. At the very same time two other girls will be disappointed and unhappy. One of them may say she did not like the guy that much after all, and move on. The other girl may just say God is a joke and leave Him. "
It is not so much about what God does or does not. It is about how we receive it. He would have done it anyway. I believe He may grant us some prayers according to His will, but mainly it is about our commitment and devotion, believing and following even when the outcome is not what we wanted. He hasn't changed nor will He ever change. “He is the same today, yesterday, and forever.” We, on the other hand, change and become what we allow us to become.
Our faith will be tested, no doubt about that. It is easy to say I will follow Him forever when I am having a great moment in life. My friend just lost her 23 year old daughter to leukemia. To say she didn't struggle with her faith would be a lie, yet she is being refined and purified until the day she sees he daughter again.
We can jump out or stay in. The choice is ours. We may even wander off for a while, hopefully to realize that there is no better place than inside. To all my friends going through hard times I can honestly say: "I understand, hang in there, we will make it through together and hang on God, who, although we may not understand completely, knows what's best."
I had a client one day tell me that she thought God's plans were like a sick joke; because He was in control, nobody knew the outcome. I was saddened and surprised at first by her belief. Then, I had to give it some thought. That's when I realized that faith is the glue that brings it all together. We either have it or not. Even with lots and lots of faith God will be God and will do what He had already planned. Even without faith He will do the same. So, does it matter what we do with it? Can we change God's plan and mind? I used to tell my kids: "Imagine a girl praying to marry this guy, and then two more girls praying to marry the same guy. Obviously God can't say yes to all three of them. Maybe one will get the guy, or none of them. Let's pretend one of the girls gets the guy. She will be praising the Lord and think great things about Him. At the very same time two other girls will be disappointed and unhappy. One of them may say she did not like the guy that much after all, and move on. The other girl may just say God is a joke and leave Him. "
It is not so much about what God does or does not. It is about how we receive it. He would have done it anyway. I believe He may grant us some prayers according to His will, but mainly it is about our commitment and devotion, believing and following even when the outcome is not what we wanted. He hasn't changed nor will He ever change. “He is the same today, yesterday, and forever.” We, on the other hand, change and become what we allow us to become.
Our faith will be tested, no doubt about that. It is easy to say I will follow Him forever when I am having a great moment in life. My friend just lost her 23 year old daughter to leukemia. To say she didn't struggle with her faith would be a lie, yet she is being refined and purified until the day she sees he daughter again.
We can jump out or stay in. The choice is ours. We may even wander off for a while, hopefully to realize that there is no better place than inside. To all my friends going through hard times I can honestly say: "I understand, hang in there, we will make it through together and hang on God, who, although we may not understand completely, knows what's best."
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