Facebook

Facebook

It is so fun to observe people on Facebook. My husband thinks people should not publish their dirty laundry on FB. That is not the place. I agree. But, it is so fun to observe and realize so much about people just by their statuses.

On the one hand you have the practical ones. “Grocery shopping today, kid’s hair cut, games, vacations, etc.” Does anybody really care that much what others are going to do today? Probably not. I think it is more for the one writing the status to gather their thoughts and feel accompanied.

Then there are the Bible scholars. Scriptures fill most of their statuses and many (not all) feel justified for using such a mundane tool like FB because after all they are preaching the Gospel, thus not wasting time.

Others, again just my observation, are crying for attention. “Me, me, look at me!!!” They feel disconnected, left out, alone, and hope that FB will be their ticket to happiness.

Then there are the encouragers. Always a positive note, you can read a smile behind every statement they make, and they help people feel better just about anything others are going through. They are the ones that usually get more comments along with the jokers- if you are funny you’ll get a crowd.

There are the needies; They have so many needs that take many daily statuses to display the horrors of life. Victims of fate try to get the attention of the rescuers and they connect in their own way. It is almost therapeutic how that works along with the ‘insecures’ who cry out for someone to convey that they are OK, no matter what, you are loved. They seek reassurance and fish for belonging.

Then you have the thinkers. They philosophize and try to fix mankind issues in one liner. They quote clever proverbs, biblical or not, they show their wisdom through their status. Nothing ever becomes too personal, thus avoiding the whole emotional realm; too scary to display.

Ah! The complainers! FB is their place to show their dissatisfaction in many venues: political, life, TV shows, relational. The world should run a certain way only and they display the how. They could be the next candidate for president.

I believe an observer can do a whole psychological analysis on people by just reading statutes. The question is: How much of it is true? We all act differently when we know we are being observed, or in this case, read. Because we are not face to face it may be easier to be a bit more transparent or cry out for help. People complain about FB but they faithfully stay. Is FB adding some small element of companionship when life gets so busy that we just don’t see each other face to face that much?

I admit I do feel some connection when I hear about births, deaths, pro-life bills that passed, etc. through face book. It is almost like my news channel about people that I know. Some I know better than others; a few in my friends list I have no clue who they are. But FB friends we are. I think face book is good for introverts and extroverts as well for different reasons. I am by nature an introvert. I like people, just not too many at any one time. I do better one on one or small groups. I do fine with large groups as long as I am teaching something. So FB helps me to keep in touch at a comfortable pace.

For an extrovert, those with 300+ friends list, it is pure joy to hear, see, talk, and connect with as many people as possible in the virtual and the real world, for that moment. They forget you the minute you are not in their presence or in their page, but they come back as soon as they see you again.

There are the lurkers and the upfront facebookers. The lurkers navigate to statuses and ppl’s pages in the dark; never acknowledging their presence. So you know, there is an app now that one can find out who visits your page, so watch out! The up-fronters leave comments to everyone they visit as if they were sharing a virtual cup of tea.

Lastly, there is the dilemma of “Why hasn’t she/he accepted me as their friend? It’s been a week since I sent the request”. This opens a can of worms with emotions raging from neediness and rejection, all the way to anger, bargaining to finally acceptance. Then, it is the issue of “Why have they blocked me or removed me as their friend? What have I done to them? Have I said anything offensive? Oh, who needs them after all?”

After analyzing my take on FB with all its pros and cons I have decided that I like it as long as I keep it to my level of comfort and don’t make too much of it. I have found the best part of FB for me is to have been able to reunite with so many long lost old friends and family that it makes the rest worth it and fun. What is the best or worst part of FB for you? Well, I got to go now and check on you!


Helen Bratko and Kelly Near-Allen like this..

Silvia Lakoduk FYI, I have a bit of many of these traits.

December 11 at 1:25pm ·Sara Olson Did you write this? Interesting!

December 11 at 1:45pm ·Helen Bratko Cute article Silvia. I like hearing mundane things, except the ones that say "going to bed" or something equally uninteresting, ok who cares?
I don't take things personally on FB, but I can sometimes get envious of people going on exotic va...cations.
I LOVE FB and spend probably an hour a day on it. I love being in touch with friends and reading blogs.See More

December 11 at 1:55pm Sara Olson Yes, I love being able to stay in touch with all my friends all over the place. FB just makes me feel like we know what one another is doing even though we're all so far apart.

December 11 at 2:01pm .Silvia Lakoduk Thanks Helen, I agree. Sara, I wrote it and that is my favorite part of FB. I recently found someone I haven't heard from for about 35 years.

December 11 at 3:05pm  ·Helen Tsang Mundane things are fine with me, too. It's a way to stay in touch with your friends, letting them know the little bitty things in your life. I think your article pretty much sums up all the FB personalities.

December 12 at 1:34am .Silvia Lakoduk Helen, about ... 2, 3 years ago I wouldn't had seen a picture of your cake and cookies all the way from HK if we didn't have FB and blogs :) I am so glad I can follow parts of your life from the other side of the world. My kids think it's so funny I had to have a coin and find a public phone growing up.

December 12 at 9:20am .Silvia Lakoduk Another thing I should add about FB is the opportunity to pray for other's needs.

December 12 at 9:22am .Helen Tsang I agree. FB has made moving thousands of miles away bearable. It really is an amazing concept.