When I think good, healthy thoughts, my brain creates new neuro-path ways instead of trailing the old well known road to negativity. Science tells me that, I teach it, I use it in my own life. This is true for all of us. However, it isn't that simple. It requires a complete, radical transformation of who I am at my core. It challenges my beliefs from birth and requires lots of work. And like anything worth pursuing, the payoffs are great.
I wish I could have a "delete" button and -voila'- I start fresh. Decades of negative thoughts, stress and anxiety, depression, self-doubt, self-criticism, perfectionism, victim/ worrier thinking, and more makes these thoughts familiar and comfortable. I don't fight the habit because it is what I know. One lady said: "I don't want to get out of Hell, I know the names of all the streets."
God even gives us Scriptures to dwell on that will help change the neuro- paths to where they need to be:
Philippians 4:6-8 (New King James Version)
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Then why is it so hard to do? Why do I dwell on the bad thoughts instead of renewing my mind?
Partly because it is a default setting, I go there automatically; my sin nature takes me there with ease. To transform and renew my mind I need to make a conscious effort that requires diligence, will and work. It could be compared to working my muscles when I exercise. It takes work, for the most part it is not enjoyable, but once I begin noticing the rewards of my hard work, I find motivation and a desire to continue.
The good news is that I begin to create these new neuro- paths that help me bring my thoughts into captivity much faster that before. Dwelling on "What ifs" that most likely will never happen is not God's plan for my life. Trusting God means giving up trying to control everything, yet being good stewards of what is within my responsibility to manage. There's a big difference.
As I sit here contemplating life, I begin to recount Jesus' life. He had many reasons to feel sorry for Himself, but I doubt very much He did. I am sure He didn't go through life thinking how unfair His lot was. I wonder if He ever felt self-conscious when teaching, say, the sermon on the Mountain or the Parables. Did He ever worry Himself sick with feelings of inadequacy, or self-doubt, or drive Himself crazy with perfectionism or self-criticism? Did He ever feel like telling somebody off? How about road rage pushing other donkeys out of His way? He didn't even own a donkey, He walked everywhere he went and I am sure His cholesterol was fine; after all He got plenty of exercise and ate lots of fish. He spent time with the Father in regular basis, plus He loved people and had compassion for them. Even those who hated Him, falsely accused Him, even those who crucified and killed Him.
I am told to be more like Jesus as I walk the walk. What does that mean? I wonder what life would be if I got up in the morning and made a list of things I were to accomplish that had nothing to do with my own gain. What if my to do list was: 1. Go to Kaiser and visit three terminally ill patients, 2. Bring a meal to a sick friend, 3. Go Christmas shopping for homeless children, 4. Love your family regardless, 4. Expect nothing, 5. Love some more. Could I ever do this and not think about me, me, me, and my needs, and my wants, and my fitness, and my need for vacation, and the list goes on.
If -and that's the operative word- I was able to do that, would I be happier? Could it be that I am extremely self-preoccupied, self-absorbed, self-ish? It is a well known fact that in third world countries people have almost nothing yet they are happier. Need produces a bonding experience that removes "the have to have this to be happy" deception. I many times wonder if it would even be possible to ever experience His life to the fullest. Is suffering what helps me to become closer to my King?
As I write this blog, I am surrounded by sad situation after sad situation that is happening to Christians around me. Is it becoming an epidemic? Where does one go to not catch it? There is nowhere but back to Him. Is that what it will take to bring us back to Him?
I sound like Solomon in Ecclesiastes! I guess I am mourning with those who are mourning today.
As Jesus was a "man of many sorrows," so are we. Yet He promised "not to leave us nor forsake us." As I go through the valley of death He is walking along side with me. As I, in the physical realm, believe and internalize His many promises, and dwell on them, I begin to create new hopeful neuro- pathways in my brain that will help to bring together my body, mind and Spirit to be of one accord.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Old Friend Reconnection.
This past week-end has been a roller-coaster of feelings and emotions triggered by sad and happy things taking place.
We went to Arizona for Thanksgiving to visit Everett's parents and on our way up we stopped to visit Sarai. We were not able to see her, but I visited with her mom for a short while. She is devastated to say the least, but has accepted the brutal reality of what it is soon to come. I am glad I saw her and very, very sad for what is happening.
In Arizona we had a great time; Everett's parents are the best cooks in the world and it was a great family time.
When we came back I reconnected with a friend whom I haven't heard of or seen for about 20 years. It took me right back to my youth and to the old group of friends that used to hang out together at the time. It took me to see what each one of them is doing today, some doing well, others not so well. Time is a weird thing. So it's our brain.
As I am writing this I am preparing for my Addiction and Recovery certification and just yesterday re-visited the difference between explicit and implicit memory. Explicit memory is the ability to recall some fact, information, or episode of life, in which you are aware that you are deliberately recalling the fact, information or episode. Implicit memories starts at birth (sometimes in-utero) and are the recorded feelings, sensations, and emotional experience associated with an event which are recalled automatically. It bypasses our pre-frontal cortex and goes straight to our limbic system, which is the "right now"part of the brain.
Certain memories, smells, feelings take us right back to being "there." When someone suffers from past trauma, one of the therapies applied is to help them recall the experience through the pre-frontal cortex having the person narrate the experience using the "thinking" part of the brain. This way it becomes a part of their life story, instead of being "felt" and re-lived and instantly being sent back to the experiential sensations of the limbic system. The hippocampus allows a memory to go from implicit to explicit.
All this to say that this weekend I went back to my past -triggered by an old friend- and it took me directly to the past bypassing my pre-frontal cortex. The memories don't have to be traumatic, but it is the traumatic ones that people need help overcoming. In a split second someone could be sent back to their horrible experience, whatever that may be, induced by a sound or scent. This is common with our soldiers suffering from PTSD.
We have all been transported to our past, so you know what I am talking about. Now you know what is going on with your brain as well. I find it fascinating.
My friend is doing great, married for 20 years, has two more kids and living in Costa Rica with his family.
We went to Arizona for Thanksgiving to visit Everett's parents and on our way up we stopped to visit Sarai. We were not able to see her, but I visited with her mom for a short while. She is devastated to say the least, but has accepted the brutal reality of what it is soon to come. I am glad I saw her and very, very sad for what is happening.
In Arizona we had a great time; Everett's parents are the best cooks in the world and it was a great family time.
When we came back I reconnected with a friend whom I haven't heard of or seen for about 20 years. It took me right back to my youth and to the old group of friends that used to hang out together at the time. It took me to see what each one of them is doing today, some doing well, others not so well. Time is a weird thing. So it's our brain.
As I am writing this I am preparing for my Addiction and Recovery certification and just yesterday re-visited the difference between explicit and implicit memory. Explicit memory is the ability to recall some fact, information, or episode of life, in which you are aware that you are deliberately recalling the fact, information or episode. Implicit memories starts at birth (sometimes in-utero) and are the recorded feelings, sensations, and emotional experience associated with an event which are recalled automatically. It bypasses our pre-frontal cortex and goes straight to our limbic system, which is the "right now"part of the brain.
Certain memories, smells, feelings take us right back to being "there." When someone suffers from past trauma, one of the therapies applied is to help them recall the experience through the pre-frontal cortex having the person narrate the experience using the "thinking" part of the brain. This way it becomes a part of their life story, instead of being "felt" and re-lived and instantly being sent back to the experiential sensations of the limbic system. The hippocampus allows a memory to go from implicit to explicit.
All this to say that this weekend I went back to my past -triggered by an old friend- and it took me directly to the past bypassing my pre-frontal cortex. The memories don't have to be traumatic, but it is the traumatic ones that people need help overcoming. In a split second someone could be sent back to their horrible experience, whatever that may be, induced by a sound or scent. This is common with our soldiers suffering from PTSD.
We have all been transported to our past, so you know what I am talking about. Now you know what is going on with your brain as well. I find it fascinating.
My friend is doing great, married for 20 years, has two more kids and living in Costa Rica with his family.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Natural Remedies for Anxiety and Depression?
I wonder how natural ways to help manage anxiety and depression are becoming well-known as scientific research improves on what causes the symptoms.
Is it fair to say that anxiety and depression could be the result of our fallen state? Our real self vs. our ideal self keep bumping into each other. We were created to be perfect and now we find ourselves in a imperfect world trying, to the best of our knowledge, to be perfect. But our imperfect minds don't know how to be perfect so we start judging ourselves and others, placing unrealistic expectations on ourselves, husband, kids, friends, family; telling ourselves that we should do this and that and be like so and so.
When we compare ourselves to others we lose because I compare my "true" self with your "front" self and I look bad. I don't know what is going through your head but I do know what is going through mine, and it isn't pretty. I have news for you, yours isn't pretty either!
Anyway, part of it is to realize that we are fellow strugglers, not super humans. Community brings reality to our expectations of all the "shoulds", "must" "ought", "have tos" that we place on ourselves and others. We need to go easy with one another and be kind and compassionate to ourselves.
Journaling is a great way to bring our thoughts captive. When one comes, I sit down and counter it with the truth of the situation and scripture. I compare it to how God really sees it vs. my distorted view. Once I understand it, I take action. I make a plan to make the situation better, I explain to myself that this is not true. I plan my finances, my kids education, my relationships, whatever brings the source of my discontent.
Taking action is a great depression- anxiety buster because we have a lot to do with our own happiness. Being connected to good friends is necessary to bring us back to center when we wander off. I am a firm believer on the power of small groups, support groups, any group that is open to share, not pretend everything is fine. Caution: it isn't that easy to find them, but when you do, it's a gift. Cloud and Townsend say "there is no healing in a vacuum." We need others.
Surrounding ourselves with scripture or short affirmations does wonders. Post-its all around your office, kitchen, bathroom mirror help to remember that the enemy comes to lie, steal and destroy us, but we are surrounded with truth.
These natural remedies for stress and anxiety and sometimes depression are found in the Bible.
I marvel that as science keeps advancing and finding "new" ways to cope, God had already said it in His Word. I would prescribe it once or twice daily for the rest of my life.
Anyone with depression should seek professional help as hormones, physical issues and/or clinical depression may be the cause among others.
Is it fair to say that anxiety and depression could be the result of our fallen state? Our real self vs. our ideal self keep bumping into each other. We were created to be perfect and now we find ourselves in a imperfect world trying, to the best of our knowledge, to be perfect. But our imperfect minds don't know how to be perfect so we start judging ourselves and others, placing unrealistic expectations on ourselves, husband, kids, friends, family; telling ourselves that we should do this and that and be like so and so.
When we compare ourselves to others we lose because I compare my "true" self with your "front" self and I look bad. I don't know what is going through your head but I do know what is going through mine, and it isn't pretty. I have news for you, yours isn't pretty either!
Anyway, part of it is to realize that we are fellow strugglers, not super humans. Community brings reality to our expectations of all the "shoulds", "must" "ought", "have tos" that we place on ourselves and others. We need to go easy with one another and be kind and compassionate to ourselves.
Journaling is a great way to bring our thoughts captive. When one comes, I sit down and counter it with the truth of the situation and scripture. I compare it to how God really sees it vs. my distorted view. Once I understand it, I take action. I make a plan to make the situation better, I explain to myself that this is not true. I plan my finances, my kids education, my relationships, whatever brings the source of my discontent.
Taking action is a great depression- anxiety buster because we have a lot to do with our own happiness. Being connected to good friends is necessary to bring us back to center when we wander off. I am a firm believer on the power of small groups, support groups, any group that is open to share, not pretend everything is fine. Caution: it isn't that easy to find them, but when you do, it's a gift. Cloud and Townsend say "there is no healing in a vacuum." We need others.
Surrounding ourselves with scripture or short affirmations does wonders. Post-its all around your office, kitchen, bathroom mirror help to remember that the enemy comes to lie, steal and destroy us, but we are surrounded with truth.
These natural remedies for stress and anxiety and sometimes depression are found in the Bible.
I marvel that as science keeps advancing and finding "new" ways to cope, God had already said it in His Word. I would prescribe it once or twice daily for the rest of my life.
Anyone with depression should seek professional help as hormones, physical issues and/or clinical depression may be the cause among others.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Nice to Remember
God is the Boss.
God would provide; we would depend
God would be in charge; we would yield
God was the judge; we would experience Life
God made the rules; we would obey
(From a book I'm reading)
God would provide; we would depend
God would be in charge; we would yield
God was the judge; we would experience Life
God made the rules; we would obey
(From a book I'm reading)
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Sarai (part II)
In January 2008 I posted about Sarai's fight against cancer. (Please read it if you want the full story)
As life has it, Sarai had a bone marrow transplant from her brother, who was a perfect match, and there were high hopes of remission. She went back into a semi-normal life for a very short time. A few months. At one of her blood tests check-ups the doctors were surprised at how quickly the cancer had returned.
As they decided to go for a second transplant, her brother's blood was 100% in her veins, and they had the same DNA. Weird to think that. In fact someone told me they had to report this to the police just in case Sarai ever decided to go kill someone, her brother wouldn't be to blame; or vice-verse.
Doctors were having high expectations and her family was brimming with hope. I got an email last night that Sarai's cancer had returned, aggressively this time, and no much hope was the prognosis. All they would do now is chemo to keep her home for as long as the Lord decides.
Sarai is 23 years old.
Stories like these bring some perspective in my own life, and the silly things I may concern myself with. I can hardly imagine the pain they are going through. My prayers are with them, and needless to say I am quite sad at the bad news.
As life has it, Sarai had a bone marrow transplant from her brother, who was a perfect match, and there were high hopes of remission. She went back into a semi-normal life for a very short time. A few months. At one of her blood tests check-ups the doctors were surprised at how quickly the cancer had returned.
As they decided to go for a second transplant, her brother's blood was 100% in her veins, and they had the same DNA. Weird to think that. In fact someone told me they had to report this to the police just in case Sarai ever decided to go kill someone, her brother wouldn't be to blame; or vice-verse.
Doctors were having high expectations and her family was brimming with hope. I got an email last night that Sarai's cancer had returned, aggressively this time, and no much hope was the prognosis. All they would do now is chemo to keep her home for as long as the Lord decides.
Sarai is 23 years old.
Stories like these bring some perspective in my own life, and the silly things I may concern myself with. I can hardly imagine the pain they are going through. My prayers are with them, and needless to say I am quite sad at the bad news.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Blessings
"The secret of contentment is the realization that life is a gift, not a right."
I wouldn't be writing this today if my Lord hadn't granted me another day.
I am blessed to have the family that God has given me.
I am blessed by the beautiful sunshine peeking through my window.
I am blessed by the soft music playing in the background.
I am blessed by the special people in my life.
I am blessed by my pets.
I am blessed by my -oh- so comfortable bed, and my warm house, and my car, and, and, and...
There is so much more. Why dwell on what I don't have? I will continue in this thankful mood for a while longer. It is relaxing physically and spiritually. What are you blessed by today?
I wouldn't be writing this today if my Lord hadn't granted me another day.
I am blessed to have the family that God has given me.
I am blessed by the beautiful sunshine peeking through my window.
I am blessed by the soft music playing in the background.
I am blessed by the special people in my life.
I am blessed by my pets.
I am blessed by my -oh- so comfortable bed, and my warm house, and my car, and, and, and...
There is so much more. Why dwell on what I don't have? I will continue in this thankful mood for a while longer. It is relaxing physically and spiritually. What are you blessed by today?
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