A New Season Is In The Air: The Empty Nest Syndrome.

My new season in life is the empty nest syndrome. My children are of age to leave home yet we still enjoy their company due to school, work and the huge cost of living in this beautiful Bay Area we chose as our home.

Because my children are still at home doesn't mean that their emotional disconnection hasn't started yet. It has. And sometimes it breaks my heart. I have observed other mothers deal with this time in life either with a sigh of relief that it is finally here, while others don't seem to have an emotion one way or the other. It makes me feel awkward that I am so sentimental over this issue. When it comes to my kids I have to say I would vote for rearing children in a cage, a bubble, a closed sect with only the people I'd allow to live there, maybe buy a parcel in Mars. As I become increasingly aware that neither one of those is a good choice I realize I need to process this reality and eventually, accept it.

I am very proud of my children, their differences, their temperaments, their quirks, as well as their sensitivity, their kindness, their different ways to deal with life and it has been fun to observe what each of them is accomplishing. It makes me proud that though not perfect, they have adhered to a set of values that makes them healthy, productive, loving people. I have prayed for them years before they were conceived and God has blessed me with the best in the world. I would give my life for each one of them in a heartbeat. I have learned many lessons from them as well. They have taught me about being humble, in realizing my own imperfections and limitations; I have learned to give more of myself and increase empathy and patience. I have learned what I am capable of doing if anyone would ever try to hurt them, the mama bear in me is extremely protective and mean if needed. I have spoken up and defended my children from injustices. I have let them fight their own battles when appropriate, I have instilled in them that there is a God that will always love them and be there for them if they let Him. I have laughed, I have cried, I have experienced the highest mountains and the lowest valleys with them. Lots of these have gone unnoticed by them as I have also allowed them to enjoy their childhood and not burden them with real life too soon.

I have and continue to pray daily for them, for wisdom, body, mind and spiritual health, love, more wisdom, a love for their Creator, peace, kindness, and the rest of the fruits of the Spirit. I have prayed that they would get caught when they were doing something I need to know about. God has and still is honoring that prayer. I feel very attuned to their emotions and sometimes I simply "know" that something is up even when I can't put a finger on what exactly. I would like to be remembered by them as a mom that cared more for their hearts than their actions. Even when I would not agree with their choices I would be able to separate the person from the behavior. I strive to treat them with dignity and respect and to grow them to independence. And here I am, learning about the empty nest syndrome; letting them go, pushing them out of the nest, better yet, them pushing themselves out and me allowing it.

Like any new season in life, I will learn to accept it and enjoy it. I will look back and be thankful for the wonderful grandbabies I will some day meet. I look forward to meeting their spouses whom I have been praying for from birth. I look forward to a long, God led life for my children and for many generations to come. To you, Christa, Jesse and Josiah!! With love always,
Mom